Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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