we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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