Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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