Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize