she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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