This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
