Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
