woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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