Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
