I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
