I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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