I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
