i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
