i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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