I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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