apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
