I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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