You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
