They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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