Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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