he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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