This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
