Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Randomize
