i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
