well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
