New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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