I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize