Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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