Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
