I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Randomize
