their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
