Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize