Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
