How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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