Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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