i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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