I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
