got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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