are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
