In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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