we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
