dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
