You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
