Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
