if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
We have so much sex to catch up on
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Randomize
