The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize