Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize