i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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