I think I won the penis lottery.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize