Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
How does one acquire holy water?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
