Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
