Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Drunk is not a location!
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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