some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
