I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Randomize
