After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
