So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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