If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize