Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Randomize
