it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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