Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
