so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
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