dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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