Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
