forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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