this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
