32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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