Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Randomize
