she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
