I think I just saw someone hide a body.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Who died my cat blue again?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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