why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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