3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
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